RCAT and i have some of the most amazing friends in the world. our gratitude cannot extend far enough - and all of you mean so much to us. we are so blessed to be moving forward with our lives together with you all in it - you're the best!
don't you hate it when you get up in the middle of the night to let your dogs out, see a creepy bloodsucking first-born slaughtering spider in the doorjamb and think "i'm going to be brave and kill it" and it jumps off the door right before you close in with the big bad bounty paper towel and you don't know where it went and you were actually close enough that it could be ON YOU but you can't find it and still need to go back to bed?
yeah. that's my life at 4:36am today.
i could have died (and may still!).
fuck.
ps. did i mention i'm horrifically arachnaphobic?
pps. i did find a really funny blog while i was looking for a picture of a really disgusting spider though - the art of awkward.
ppps. i decided to photographically spare you of my spider heebie jeebies at 4:36am. you love me.
UPDATE: i found his rotten stinking carcass once it was daylight and was able to send him to his desolate grave in the wilds of our backyard. disaster averted.
that more than one EXECUTIVE has asked me today if "that is a beer on my desk."
yes, i drink beer at work. clearly that is how i am both highly motivated and high performing. you guys should try it sometime.
p.s. please disregard the urine test strips next to my "beer."
(and for the sake of my job, HELL NO that is not a beer. it's iced tea. as evidenced by the HUGE thing of instant iced tea sitting on the other side of the pee strips. geesh.)
officially 60 days today until the wedding... where oh where has the time gone?!??!!?
minus the whole "least intelligent" part. clearly. quit laughing. i'm not fucking kidding because i'm a damn great white and i'll kill you. now really stop laughing.
what kind of shark are you?
(www.sharkweek.com)
champagne and shark week.
9pm tonight, bitches.
(and my word that picture is beautiful.)
fuckin' free chipotle.
DUDE.
FREE CHIPOTLE.
if you live in the city, seemingly anywhere, a little postcard of THE BEST SHIT EVER showed up in your mailbox this week.
(people, i have to ration chipotle like it's the 70's and i'm a gas station.)
there's a new chipotle in town (yeah i've mentioned chipotle (ha!) 5 times already - google is going to be so screwed tonight) down in the vcu area and i'm not sure if it's closer to our house or the willow lawn one. whatever, i digress.
they want traffic. bad enough to give half (or all, i dunno) of richmond a coupon for A FREE BURRITO (or bol, if you roll naked like i do).
you guys know what this meant to me - i coddled that little coupon tighter than i will my firstborn. and tonight i took full advantage of it like it was a cheap date.
and you know what? i think free chipotle is even better than normal chipotle.
[self, should you tell them that thursday is your "me" night and that after chipotle you watched an all new episode of burn notice and then royal pains on usa? and that usa is your favorite channel because you are THAT cool? nah. we should keep that to ourselves for a while.]
this shit is going to be long. NC-17 blog rating - here i come!
oh yeah, i said shit and i'm not apologizing. (in fact, i'm so brazen about it that i highlight that.)
and i've been holding back.
for the entire existence of this blog.
mmm hmm. chew on that one.*
(*originally that word was "puppy," but RCAT found that to be both weird and "fueled by whatever crack i took this morning" so now it is more friendly for people who don't want to chew on puppies, apparently).
anyone who knows me in person knows that my language could be described as, uhm, colorful? (at work they call me "honest," and "uninhibited.") what that means is that even with several minor tongue lashings under my belt, i have not been broken of my free spirited f-bomb dropping and shit-talking (literally) even in some inappropriate professional situations (thank GOD our president of sales finds this endearing and that makes me more trustworthy).
ok, so disclaimer out of the way...
the confession. (dun dun dun........)
apparently, for the folks over at weddingbee.com, this blog is ALREADY too, uhm, "colorful." i was DENIED (suzy orman are you listening to me? DE-NIED!) to be a blogger over there. they now have another wonderful richmonder who writes fluffy and insightful posts about getting married in our town.
WHATEVS.
they think i'm colorful? oh i'll give you colorful. bitches.
(i still love weddingbee though - there are some crazy peeps on those message boards as well as some amazing people.)
new favorite blog?
oh hells yes.
just type this into your browser RIGHTNOW (do not even finish reading what i'm writing):
www.aiminglow.com
i have found my celestial soul mates. these hookers are as lazy as i am and they share my absolute hatred for folding laundry. (washing? loves it. folding? fuck you freshly-cleaned clothes.) and somehow they keep their lives in order. and sweatpants rule over there. (i heart you target yoga pants that are wearing out in the butt.)
also - if you're still reading like i told you not to be - check out barefoot foodie. she is how i found aiming low and how i also know now that it. is. ok. to incoherently ramble on your blog and that someone (*snort*) in the blogosphere *might* find it entertaining one day.
or maybe just me.
and that's cool too.
peace out, bitches. lots more color coming your way as this wedding shiz heats up.
65 more days!!
(and RCAT - it's ok to be hiding under a pillow now that your fiance has come out in all of her yoga-pants-with-the-butt-wearing-out glory.)
